Why Networking Feels So Uncomfortable

You know you need to network, but the idea of reaching out to strangers makes you cringe. Sound familiar?

If you’re an introvert – or just someone who values authentic connection – the traditional advice to “go to events, collect business cards, and pitch yourself” feels forced, fake, and exhausting.

But here’s the truth: networking doesn’t have to be sleazy. In fact, when done right, it doesn’t feel like networking at all. It feels like connecting with real people, in real ways, that actually matter.

Reframing Networking: It’s Not About Favors, It’s About Relationships

So let’s shift the mindset.

Networking isn’t about asking for favors or trying to “get” something from someone. That approach drains you and makes the other person feel used. Instead, true networking is about:

• Building genuine relationships.
• Leading with curiosity and generosity.
• Offering value before asking for anything in return.

Think of it this way: every connection you make is the start of a potential relationship. Not every connection will turn into an opportunity – and that’s okay. But when you consistently show up with authenticity and generosity, doors will open that you never expected.

The 3-Step Networking Strategy for Introverts (and Anyone Who Hates Sleazy Networking)

Ready to try a better way? Here’s a simple, step-by-step networking strategy you can start using today:

Step 1: Identify Key People You’d Love to Connect With

Instead of trying to meet everyone, focus on a handful of people who actually inspire you, challenge you, or work in the field you want to break into.

Ask yourself:

• Who are the decision-makers or industry leaders in my field?
• Who’s doing work I admire?
• Who seems approachable and aligned with my values?

Use LinkedIn to find these people. Search by role, industry, or even by companies you’d love to work for. This is about quality over quantity – you don’t need 500 connections, you need 5 that truly matter.

Step 2: Engage Authentically Before Reaching Out

This is where most people get it wrong: they send a connection request or cold message right away. But here’s the better way:

• Comment on their posts: Share a thoughtful response, not just “Great post!” Add your perspective, ask a question, or share how it resonated with you.
• Share relevant articles: If you come across something aligned with their work, share it with a short note: “This reminded me of your recent post, thought you might enjoy it.”
• Acknowledge their work: Congratulate them on a promotion, or comment on a podcast or article they contributed to.

This shows that you’re genuinely interested in them, not just what they can do for you.

Step 3: Follow Up Without Being Pushy

Relationships aren’t built overnight. Once you’ve connected, nurture the relationship by staying in touch – without overdoing it.

• Send a quick update: If something they said helped you, let them know. People love hearing their advice made a difference.
• Check in occasionally: A simple, “Hi, I saw this and thought of you, how are things going on your end?” can go a long way.
• Offer help when you can: Share opportunities, articles, or introductions that might be useful to them.

This positions you as someone thoughtful and valuable, not pushy.

Why This Works (Especially for Introverts)

If you’re an introvert, chances are you thrive in one-on-one conversations and meaningful exchanges, not crowded events or surface-level chit-chat. This strategy works because it allows you to:

• Play to your strengths (deep, thoughtful engagement).
• Avoid draining networking “performances.”
• Build authentic relationships at your own pace.

It’s not about being the loudest person in the room. It’s about being the most genuine, and that’s something introverts excel at.

Your Next Step: Get Clear on Your Unique Value

Here’s the thing: networking becomes 100x easier when you’re clear on what you bring to the table. Because when you know your strengths and the unique value you offer, you can connect with confidence.

That’s exactly why I created my Career Clarity Blueprint – a free guide designed to help you uncover your strengths and position yourself as the perfect candidate (and the kind of connection people remember).

👉 Download your free Career Clarity Blueprint here

Networking doesn’t have to feel sleazy. It can feel like building real relationships – if you start with clarity, authenticity, and a little strategy.